Vday = S.A.D. aka Socially Acceptable Drinking Day

Well its the beginning of February and people (women) only have one thought on their minds. Its Valentine’s Day and personally, I don’t know what everyone is so upset about.

Valentine’s Day is a day that for me, should be filled with hope. It’s the one day that men think they better start doing something. It’s an excuse for people to buy flowers for loved ones, gorge themselves in chocolate and other assorted candies, and more most, an excuse to get laid. If that means finally proposing, so be it. If that means asking out that hot girl from the bar- that’s fine. If it means throwing a Single Awareness party so you can personally see who’s single – just go with it. Its one of the most random days out of the year where people have an excuse to think about only one thing…

So why is everyone so sad? It’s not a holiday that couples do to rub love in single people’s faces. People who say, “for the rest of us single women, it’s kind of a giant cosmic bitchslap. It’s like the universe saying, look, remember when you were fourteen and you had cystic acne and braces and you played the saxophone in the marching band and no one would invite you to the winter formal? Well nothing’s changed.” -No. It’s a holiday that makes people happy, that band nerd has people that make them happy. For some, it maybe gives them a false sense of security in their relationship because he got you flowers. For single people, Valentine’s Day is something to celebrate and it comes in two simple words… DISCOUNT CANDY. Need I say more?

There is no excuse to not be happy on Valentine’s Day. If all else fails, the last option is to drink.Image People are always looking for socially acceptable excuses to get drunk- because doing it alone on a Wednesday at noon doesn’t work.Image

All excuses aside, Valentine’s day is a day to be with the ones you love. Just because you don’t have a superficial boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t mean you’re alone in this world. You have your parents, your friends, siblings even and the worst case scenario you buy a pet to keep you company. I know you’ll say, “But then I’m the loser who spent Valentine’s Day with their mom.” ImageSO WHAT? You want to spend it with someone who cares about you, someone who gives you things when no one else will, and someone who thinks you are the world. Spending Valentine’s Day with your mom might be the greatest thing over a date, and you don’t have to shave your legs.Image

Most people cut out men in this situation. If you are complaining about being single on Valentine’s Day – then get used to being a minority. You don’t have to spend any money on a boy or girl who will be pissed because you didn’t get them a flower. And if you’re not single- just buy the damn flower and enjoy not being alone. Gentlemen- you play a crucial role in Valentine’s Day. You have one job. A simple job which will make your special other happy for at least the rest of February, maybe into March. Count your blessings, and maybe the calories in chocolate. Image

Valentine’s day is a stupid thing to waste. If you’re going to hate anything, hate the men and women who dumped you, left you, made you feel worthless. Hate the people who have hurt you. Don’t take it out on the candy. 

And for those who think that Valentine’s is a useless holiday because people should already do these things or be Debbie Downers like Frankiln – “Valentine’s day was a massacre in Chicago where lots of people were killed and they put a curse on the Chicago cubs.”- just don’t talk to us.Image Us as in the dreamers, the doers, the hopeful, the hurt, the happy, and the candy shop people. Maybe you get flowers and candy 365 days a year, but today we finally do. Yes, Valentine’s Day is just a day. But its a day that, for some people, the sun is a little brighter, people are a little nicer, and magic can actually feel real. People are assholes about 364 days a year. Let us have this one. 

Last year on Valentine’s Day, I wasn’t with my boyfriend. If I was like anyone else, I would have complained that I was utterly alone. I would have hated the day. But i can’t do that. When I see all the love in the world come out on one day, just because, I want to embrace it. So, on my Valentine’s Day, I bought gifts for my closest friends. We cooked together, swapped children’s Valentine’s Cards, ate, drank, and had a great day. We didn’t hate being alone, because we were together. 

For the majority of Valentine’s (all but 3), I spent it in my house, where the only person to buy me flowers and candy was my mom. Those have been the best Valentine’s Days I have ever had. I didn’t need some guy to tell me I was beautiful. Because whenever she said it, I believed her. 

So if this has taught anyone anything, don’t hate Valentine’s Day. If anything, use it for all its worth. Get happy, get candy, get lovey dovey, get laid, and get socially acceptably drunk. Let’s just have one day where people can be happy with the things they love. Image

Moral of the story? Stop complaining, get drunk, and have an amazing Valentine’s Day. 

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